An excerpt from ‘Sacred Union: Awakening to the Consciousness of Eden’
© Tanishka 2014
The white Tantric path is the path of the inner maiden or knight, the young teen / twenty-something part of us, (regardless of our current age) whose quest is to individuate from the conditioning we received in childhood, so we can reclaim our unique & authentic personal self-expression.
To do this we must get to know the aspects of both our inner feminine & masculine halves, which combined make up the blueprint of our multi-faceted soul self. (N.B. The more discordant our parent’s relationship, which modeled a blueprint of these inner gender roles, the greater the challenge to harmonize these opposing forces within. Kind of like Lily Tomlin & Steve Martin enacting the discord of two people sharing the same body in the classic comedy, ‘All of Me.’) So we start by getting to know each of the feminine archetypes (aspects of the psyche) & their counterpart masculine archetypes which collectively represent the inner ‘Seven Brides for Seven Brothers’ or opposite polarities which must be balanced internally before one can enjoy equal & balanced partnerships externally.egardless of our current age) whose quest is to individuate from the conditioning we received in childhood, so we can reclaim our unique & authentic personal self-expression.
These teachings combine the energetic anatomy of Tantra with the psychological insights offered by classical mythology, to enable you to understand the relationship between each of the masculine & feminine archetypal energies which govern each of the seven major energy centers in the body. These are most commonly referred to as chakras but are also known as stargates or the eyes of God. When we master these seven major lessons we unblock our life force (also known as kundalini in ancient Sanskrit) at each of the seven gates. As these vortexes open we experience ourselves & life as multi-dimensional, enabling us to emanate the frequency of the seven rays of healing & raise the level of both our personal & collective human consciousness.
In Mysticism this energetic process is described as awakening the twin serpent. The masculine & feminine energy meridians together are known pictorially as the caduceus, the symbol for healing which was later adopted by the fraternity of modern medicine. It portrays the two serpents spiraling up a central pillar, (the nervous system) with wings outstretched. (I have included an illustration of this symbol, along with more detailed information in ‘The Caduceus’ chapter.)
By marrying the seven expressions of your inner yin (feminine) & yang (masculine), you will be freed of the unconscious external search for your ‘other half,’ which is a recipe for dysfunctional co-dependency, a dynamic which was prevalent in the traditional form of marriage & is now being collectively transcended.
The Significance of Your Foundation Gender
Whilst we are all made up of masculine & feminine energies, just as every part of life is created through the merging of these polar opposites, it is fundamental that before we start the process of trying to heal & reclaim our ‘inner opposite,’ that we first address the unresolved issues we have with the gender into which we incarnated. For example, you may be a woman who is unconsciously rebelling against your mother by focusing on your career more than relationships to avoid becoming like her or you may be a man who avoids career & the financial responsibility of fatherhood as a way of avoiding becoming like him. It is not a question of whether your choices are right or wrong, it is simply about seeing what underlies any avoidance of gender roles so we can find a balance that works & reflects our authentic self…so we are not unconsciously being a perpetual teenager rebelling against our parents.
For example, many men avoid connecting with & expressing their masculinity if they have never had a heart-centered older man act as a positive role model. This is a man who personally invested their attention, time & genuine care into mentoring them. This is common for men who were primarily raised by their mother with a father who was abusive, absent, submissive or passive-aggressive so was unable to embody the true strengths of the masculine polarity. This is where attending a men’s group with emotionally mature men can provide the necessary role modeling needed for men to embody a whole & healed masculinity that often their father was unable to demonstrate.
Similarly, many women may avoid identifying with their feminine self-expression if they grew up with disempowered mothers who embodied more of the shadow feminine traits, behaving in a way that was deceitful, manipulative, emotionally unbalanced or passive aggressive. Ultimately, whichever parent our child self felt more abused or neglected by – be it emotional, psychological, physical, this is the gender we unconsciously disown as we reject them within our own psyche. This obviously affects how we treat both ourselves & others. In other words, if you reject your mother or father on some level it will inhibit your ability to develop & embrace the archetype of mother / father in your own life. This affects not just your ability to parent a child but your inner mother’s ability to identify & nurture your needs or your inner father’s ability to provide for you & protect you.
The Legacy Of Our Early Gender Conditioning
Whilst I don’t want to promote victim consciousness, the majority of us have suffered one or several forms of abuse from our parents, step-parents or family of origin as culturally there was not sufficient awareness or support to promote healthy, conscious relating amongst families. So it’s helpful to consider the gender imbalances within each of our parents so our adult self can understand & heal the pattern of abuse to avoid perpetrating it on the next generation. For example, your father may’ve abused you psychologically by constantly putting you down with unconscious remarks & responses to your self-expression because he had shut down many of his feminine qualities, such as patience, acceptance, compassion & understanding. (This was commonplace amongst many of our dads in an effort to appear more masculine & comply with the traditional gender roles of their time.) This may’ve then been compounded by a mother who felt so unsupported, that driven by anxiety she operated more out of her masculine – overdoing to the point of burn-out so her feminine expression was always extreme & out of balance. This dynamic has been a common scenario during the patriarchal consciousness as the feminine polarity was not understood, validated or empowered so it was often completely denied or expressed in a very unconscious way. This makes sense when we consider that the feminine energy, (known in mysticism as ‘Shakti’) represents the aspect of life force which can be chaotic & scattered without the structure of the masculine, (‘Shiva’) to hold it. This is why when overwhelmed, women tend to spiral into a flood of tears & nervous hysteria & are calmed by the stillness & presence of a man who can simply hold them.
The Hysteria of Our Inner Feminine
Now don’t get wrong, the masculine has made incredible advances through it’s ingenuity & practicality over the past five thousand years but it has come at a cost. Consider if you will, how disempowered the expression of the feminine has been in both men & women throughout our patriarchal culture as every aspect of our lives was structured in an anti-feminine way. For example we lived separately rather than communally. We lived in ‘man made’ towns & cities surrounded by corporate billboards, ad slogans & commercials telling us what to think, say & do rather than in the support of Mother Nature. We were governed by linear ‘man made’ time rather than attuning to & living in accordance with the natural cycles. We worked long hours to amass the ‘man made’ measurement of worth, being the artificial construct of money rather than naturally sharing resources as was done naturally by indigenous peoples. These constructs disempowered our feminine sense of self, creating an inner hysteria we refer to as ‘stress’ which is now an epidemic in the West. Having endured this as a long-term condition, many older women understandably end up having their feminine physiology (uterus) removed altogether – a procedure aptly named as a ‘hysterectomy’.
Ultimately, it is easier to see a symptom rather than look to the cause. So for us growing up in a culture that saw our mothers as often sick, depressed, emotionally unbalanced & financially powerless (because they instinctually shared rather than hoarded what they had) it is understandable that we dismiss them & in doing that dismiss our own inner feminine as having any real worth.
For example, I had a client call me in distress because her children were defending her husband who had cheated on her, which both hurt & bewildered her. This was because their direct experience of their mother’s irrational & overly emotional behavior in direct response to her husband’s cheating was personally more confronting in its immediate impact than his. They were also the product of a culture that continually made excuses for men’s behavior while being highly critical of women.
It is easy to see & scapegoat a woman who is out of control rather than comprehend the insurmountable odds that are creating her condition. Such as living in a misogynistic society with a husband who has shut down his own feminine, so he mocks everything about her that is feminine from her moods to her curves & her spiritual beliefs. It is no wonder that many grow up perpetuating this scenario by siding with their Dads in cases of family conflict & if female, then finding themselves only understanding the role of family scapegoat when they themselves become mothers. Being someone who is only valued for what they do for others rather than their inherent worth, leads women to become so good at ‘overdoing’ for acceptance, love & approval that they suffer repeated & chronic energetic burn-out, emotional overwhelm & physical illness.
Ultimately, when we deconstruct & understand the conditions that created our parents’ gender imbalance which led to our abuse we can then open our hearts to feel compassion & forgiveness for them, which is the key to our own healing. For when the heart opens, the energy can flow freely up into the throat chakra to release past pain & experience peace, as this is the center for healing.
Tanishka is a Tantric author & teacher whose passion is to assist both men & women to empower themselves & their patterns of relating. Her Sacred Union online course and books assist with this.
You can purchase Volume One, ‘Creating Sacred Union Within’ here
You can purchase Volume Two, ‘Creating Sacred Union in Partnership’ here
Tanishka will be starting her next Sacred Union online course:
March 9, 2016 for the Southern Hemisphere.
August 1, 2016 for the Northern Hemisphere.
Payment plans available