What Makes a Woman a Bridezilla?

What Makes a Woman a Bridezilla?

Bridezilla: a woman whose behaviour in planning the details of her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.

Our ego based culture is both reactive and judgmental since we’re conditioned to view life from the mind rather than the heart. So when brides-to-be start behaving badly, the tendency is to mock them by labelling them as bridezillas…a beast of a bride who’s out of control.

And therein lies the key.

She feels out of control. That is the underlying reason a woman will seek to control everything in her external environment, including her partner & every minute detail of her big day. She is trying to create external perfection to compensate for her fear of the unknown.

This occurs when women don’t receive sufficient mentoring & support to acknowledge the internal fears & doubts that are surfacing about entering the next chapter. Questions such as:

  • How will my life change?
  • Will he stay faithful?
  • Will I be a beautiful bride?
  • Am I truly loveable?
  • Will I make the same mistakes my parents did?
  • Will our marriage last?
  • Will I lose contact with my friends?
  • Am I making the right choice? 

The last question is probably the most loaded…as the maiden aspect in every woman fears making any commitment, let alone a life-ling one if she hasn’t taken the descent journey within to truly know herself. The less we know our own heart & mind the more frightening it is to pledge oneself to another in a legal ceremony witnessed by all one’s family & friends. 

In the ancient world women were prepared for all their life transitions in the Red Tent, the space of ‘secret women’s business’ where women could speak openly about their deepest thoughts & feelings in the safety of knowing what is spoken in the Red Tent is never shared outside.  The Red Tent was also the place where elder women would mentor & initiate women through their milestones by helping them to acknowledge their fears and doubts so they could consciously question them and grow beyond them. Without this processing, many modern day brides feel isolated and alone in what is mean to be their ‘happiest time’ so they act out by trying to create the perfect day, becoming more and more tightly wound as the big day approaches.

This looks like someone who obsesses over the smallest details and has an unattainable ideal she is trying to aspire to in order to prove to herself that everything will be okay if she can only achieve it. 

So one can see how criticising a woman who is flagging she is not coping is akin to pouring petrol on a fire! If you dare criticise her vision or efforts you’re likely to get burned. This creates escalating tension & conflict within the couple & her bridal party & family which only exacerbates her bad behaviour.

This kind of demanding & hystrionic behaviour is often described as that of a ‘drama queen’. However there is nothing queenly about this kind of display. It is the archetypal princess, the child bride projecting ‘Daddy’ on to her partner with an expectation he must make her happy by meeting all her demands. This is indicative of a woman who has not taken the journey within to see and own her own dark side so she always sees the problem as being outside herself rather than taking responsibility for her own expectations and choices.  

When a woman is out of balance, it takes another woman to call her on her shadow – her unacknowledged aspects. This is why in the ancient world women prepared for Sacred Union by being initiated into their inner Queen by meeting all 7 aspects of their feminine psyche – thereby seeing and integrating the good, the bad, the ugly & the divine.

 

Find this article by Tanishka insightful & want to know more? Check out some of these resources

Resources

To find out more about this ancient path of feminine initiation click here

To find out more about my training to assist women through their milestones click here  

Feel free to share this article via the social media icons below

Have You Outgrown Your Festive Traditions?

Have You Outgrown Your Festive Traditions?

I grew up celebrating Christmas in the middle of Summer in Australia & New Zealand. 

In the suburban landscape of the 70’s and 80’s no one questioned cans of fake snow, plastic trees and cooking roast dinners and plum pudding during a heatwave.

The Reason for the Season…or is it?

In my mid-twenties I stumbled upon the ancient seasonal festivals of the earlier Goddess tradition upon which the patriarchal celebrations were based. So whilst we have been told Jesus is the reason for the season, for thousands of years prior to Jesus our ancestors celebrated the Holy night of the Winter Solstice as the birth / rebirth of the sacred masculine. This is when the sun was said to be reborn and men sought to become like Gods like Osiris, Adonis and Dumuzi by undergoing sacred ceremonies to catalyze the ego death or their small self. For more about that check out my talk on the Holy Grail here

Honoring Our Hybrid of Needs & Traditions

For the past 20 years I’ve incorporated celebrations of the seasonal wheel to assist the growth of my soul but I’ve also continued to observe and celebrate the Christian festivals of Easter (once Eostre, the fertility festival of Spring) and Christmas (originally the Winter Solstice) because my inner child was not prepared to relinquish them due to nostalgia and since everyone else was celebrating. After all, a sense of belonging is important for our inner child regardless of our chronological age!

Each year the appeal of a traditional Christmas lessens for me…this could be a sign of maturity but I suspect it’s more the turn of the cosmic wheel as we shift from the Piscean age into the Aquarian age. This influence is why our collective values are changing and evolving.

So you’re not alone if you’re questioning whether it’s ethical to lie to kids about Santa, given he’s the marketing invention of Coca-Cola, branded in their colours…a corporate version of St Nicholas, the Christian appropriation of the earlier Green man. 

In our pedophilic culture you may also feel to resist the cultural expectation we place on kids to sit on a strange man’s lap and pose for photos…or wonder if it’s environmental responsible to cut down a tree, decorate it and then toss it out a few weeks later.

Just like the evergreen tree of Yule that the Christmas tree is based on it’s inevitable that we continue to grow and change. How gracefully we evolve depends on our ability to review our choices and adapt to our growing awareness. Feminine wisdom traditions encourage us to do this on a cyclic basis in order to fulfil our highest potential.

So if you notice yourself resisting, resenting or questioning the done way of doing traditional celebrations, regardless of what cultural expectation is it – don’t override or dismiss your feelings. Instead reflect whether your existing plans and traditions reflect your true values so you can wholeheartedly embrace what you choose to afford meaning to. It is after all a sign of personal growth that we individuate from our early conditioning and make choices directed by our inner self.

How to Make Your Festive Season More Personally Meaningful

Taking a few moments to reflect upon the relevance of our festive plans motivates us to consider our authentic needs and respond accordingly. This is the key to making our holiday season more personally fulfilling so we don’t just go through the motions of religious, family or cultural expectations which feel personally void of meaning. Otherwise we’re likely to feel anxious or depressed an easily triggered by others…not a recipe for a good time.

To do this consider what is most important to you and therefore needs to be marked at this time of year. For example…

Is your deepest need to regroup & reconnect with loved ones, close friends or commune with your extended family?

If so, make it a priority to let your loved ones know how important this is to you. Consider making a request that instead of a physical present you’d prefer some quality time with a special date or a big family picnic, dinner or BBQ.

Do you just need to have some down time & celebrate making it through another year?

If so, focus your end of year celebrations on carving out an opportunity to stop, relax and reflect on what you’d like to do differently in the coming year whilst celebrating the achievements, lessons and milestones of you and your loved ones. This may take the form of a holiday with some journal writing and honest conversations.

Do you feel completely burnt out or unable to resolve the events of the past year in your psyche?

If so, consider paring back any expectations others may have of you by being transparent about where you’re at. Then put your energies into finding a yoga, meditation or detox retreat to start the new year so you can gain some much needed perspective away from your everyday responsibilities.

Are you feeling a bit disconnected from life or a bit jaded about humanity & the state of the world?

Consider singing carols at a local hospital, storytelling at a local foster home or refugee centre or offering to lend a hand at a local soup kitchen.

Do you feel anxiety about being alone on the festive holi-days of your culture?

If so, be proactive in organizing an ‘orphan’s gathering’…with others who are also potentially at a loose end. I have organized many of these events for Xmas & found them always to be far less stressful & enjoyable than trying to appease family.

Do you feel your nervous system is fried from too much time online and what you most need is time to unplug & just be?

Consider some time way camping as time in nature is the cure when we need to ground, slow down our minds, relax and defrag.   

Do you feel anxiety about being alone on the festive holi-days of your culture?

If so, be proactive in organizing an ‘orphan’s gathering’…with others who are also potentially at a loose end. I have organized many of these events for Xmas & found them always to be far less stressful & enjoyable than trying to appease family.

Perhaps what your soul needs is some form of ritual to commune with the season and process your personal lesson this season?

If you are a member of a church or synagogue then embrace the opportunity to really get involved with the spirit of the season by actively participating in community events to mark Hanukkha or Christmas. The more you focus on the reason you are doing the established rituals the more you will personally gain from them.

Alternatively check out Solstice events in your local area or create your own Solstice ceremony with loved ones & friends. For more info on the lesson of the solstices check out my book, Goddess Wisdom available as an ebook or paperback here

We’re all different so we have different needs. True joy comes from honouring our differences and attending to our authentic needs.

If you’re anything like me, you have multiple needs at this time of year so consider creating a hybrid festive season that ticks a few boxes. For example:

I am packing up my home of 10 years so I’m marking that milestone by hosting my final Christmas lunch there with friends.

Whilst I don’t identify as a Christian or go to church I feel a deep connection with Yeshua & Mari so I toast their embodiment of the sacred masculine & feminine as we charge our glasses to toast our feast.

To address my need for nostalgia I lay a traditional table, play classic carols & we share a festive feast allowing for various dietary requests with everyone contributing dishes that take into account the 7 day weather forecast.

My need to let loose & play is met by including silly games like Celebrity Head (everyone one wears a post it note with the name of a historical figure or celebrity stuck to their forehead) followed by group Pictionary.

Since I’m packing up to become a digital nomad I’ve requested no gifts & am giving away what I no longer need or use instead of spending money.

To appease my inner priestess we’ll each pull an oracle card around the table for the year that was & the coming year. To mark the Summer Solstice I’ll invite everyone to share their greatest accomplishment, lesson & act of service.

One final suggestion for those of you exchanging gifts…consider asking everyone to take it in turns to open each gift so everyone can share the experience of giving & receiving instead of it being an isolated frenzy of opening presents…this way it also lasts longer!.

So however you choose to spend the festive season, do consider all your needs & be true to yourself then you will have something worth celebrating! If you’re yet to do your Xmas shopping consider saving 15% off all my books, CD’s & DVD’s – all of which are available as digital downloads! Click here to view the Xmas catalogue

What is The Red Tent?

What is The Red Tent?

The Red Tent or Moon Lodge is simply a gathering of women that occurs at the new moon when girls & women are most in need of support, rest & reflection. This is a timeless tradition observed by ancient cultures which serves as a regular forum for empowering women’s sense of selfhood.

Welcome to Your Womanhood

Traditionally, girls would start attending the Red Tent when their bodies started to cycle with the moon. It was here they would learn about their fertility cycles & every facet of being a woman.

Not the clinical info covered by school sex education or teen mags but the mystical understanding of their cyclic nature as a woman & how to caretake themselves on a cyclic basis.

This includes understanding the effect of the lunar & seasonal cycles on our emotions, energy levels & psychological states & how to create balance in all three with a cyclic approach to self care. This ‘Secret Women’s Business’ empowers women of all ages to honour their bodies as temples & make self-honouring choices.

‘Being publicly sexual has become the only acceptable way for girls
to demonstrate maturity.’ 

‘Pornified’ by Pamela Paul

Becoming Your Own Woman

The ancient custom of initiating young women when they begin their fertility cycle into the monthly gathering of older women supports them through the natural process of individuation from their Mums.

Without this transition being formerly marked & young women being afforded a larger circle of support this can be a tense time behind closed doors with teenage girls rebelling against their mothers in order to assert their own feminine identity.

Initiating teenage girls into a circle of trusted older women provides them with a network who they can turn to when they need guidance, rather than being blindly led by their peers or seeking guidance from magazines sponsored by a corporate agenda.

This provides an authentic foundation of practical support so they can make the necessary errors in judgement that are universal on the road to wisdom. This is a safeguard that is even more pertinent in our modern world which preys upon the naivete of young women and their need to be liked & affirmed as sexually attractive.

Welcoming girls to their womanhood affirms being a woman is worth celebrating & that it is safe for us to gather & speak our truth. Marking this rite of passage also helps both mother & daughter to acknowledge that the childhood phase has passed so new responsibilities must be accepted if new freedoms are to be granted.

Knowledge is Power. When women take time to connect with their inner most thoughts & feelings they can better respond to their needs.

The Getting of Wisdom & Secret Women’s Biz

The Red Tent was also where women learnt the sacred arts of healing, channelling, dream analysis & divination on the understanding that our inner senses; clairvoyance (clear seeing), clairsentience (clear sensing), clairaudience (clear hearing) & intuition (inner guidance) are amplified when we gather in alignment with the moon. By honing these inner senses young women develop the skills to discern potential danger & avert it by learning to read the signs.

It was in the Red Tent women’s deepest secrets were shared so no woman had to carry her burdens alone. Wisdom was also imparted through the oral tradition of storytelling that provided an archetypal framework for growing beyond our perceived challenges.

The Red Tent was a safe & supportive environment where young women learnt about the responsibility of their fertility cycle the importance of their role as women in society.

Why The Red Tent Is Held at New Moon

New moon is the time of the month, 2 weeks after full moon when we tend to feel tired, inward & vulnerable. It’s when our insecurities & old wounds surface… so we often retreat from others. If we don’t accept & heal our shadow we don’t mature so we fear ageing and make immature choices that create drama in our lives.

It is for this reason women of all indigenous societies for thousands of years gathered together at his time to reflect upon their lives, offering each other emotional support & healing. This takes the pressure off partners to ‘make a woman happy’. By taking responsibility for our emotional well being through a monthly practice we also lessen our need for emotional comfort through overeating, as the sacral energy centre which resides in the abdomen is governed by the moon. When women don’t honour their emotional needs the result is gluttony, as the inner child attempts to self soothe.

The new moon is also the time when most women experience their ‘moon time’ or ‘heavenly water’ as it was known in traditional Chinese medicine. So this custom offered a time out for women, enabling them to turn inwards & rest & replenish.

The Cultural Cost of the Omission of The Red Tent

The omission of Red Tents means many modern women don’t take regular time to process their emotions so we see eating disorders as common place, particularly amongst teenage girls. Other feminine health complaints such as menstrual disorders & depression are also often alleviated through this simple, cyclic practice. Without this cyclic acceptance of our need to give back to the self women burn out by over-giving in accordance with patriarchal expectations of a ‘good woman’. This is symbolically illustrated by the Western epidemic of breast cancer in the ‘civilised world’ where women are culturally expected to nurture 24/7 without asking for anything in return. Just as we need to breathe in before breathing out, so too women need to take time & sustenance for themselves if they are to sustain their output.

To find out more about the ancient tradition of the Red Tent & how to incorporate this practice into your life, click here 

The Key to Everlasting Love

The Key to Everlasting Love

Given that we have been blindly navigating the terrain of relationships without the guidance of ancient sacred knowledge to steer our ships for many centuries, the majority of modern day relationships have mot matured past the stage of falling in love with a projected ideal. This coupling of the inner maiden and knight is depicted in the Tarot as the ‘Three of Cups’ card. This level of relationship is where we feel ‘in love’ with our own unexpressed aspects, projected externally on to another. So we feel incomplete without them, hence the old relationship paradigm term, ‘my other half’. This relationship model is known as co-dependency, a dynamic where we rely upon ‘the other’ to do that which we think we are unable to do for ourselves. Understandably, this status quo eventually creates feelings of neediness, disempowerment, suffocation & resentment until we individuate from the other in order to grow into a fuller version of ourselves. If we don’t use this time on our own to embrace the White Path of Tantra: Creating Sacred Union Within we simply fall in love again with our projection of the perfect partner & then reject them when we realise they too, are human & incomplete.

Unconscious partnerships play out in three stages:

1. The Honeymoon Phase. This is when we fall in love with our opposite or disowned self externally in someone else. Our euphoria is fuelled by the expectation they can save us from the suffering we have unconsciously created for ourselves. This is when we revert back to ‘baby speak’ giving each other pet names as we take it in turns to soothe & parent each other’s wounded inner child in exchange for affection, reassurance & the perception of emotional security. At this stage of relating we unconsciously try to get from our partner what we feel we didn’t get from our parents.

2. Polarisation. This is when we lean on each other’s strengths to the point where we completely avoid doing those activities we don’t feel confident doing. To disguise our growing sense of disempowerment we start to develop a sense of superiority about the tasks we are good at. This leads us to minimise & judge the tasks our partner does so resentment grows & the passion dies. When we don’t appreciate & respect one another we end up bickering like siblings. This creates a dynamic of unconsciously competing with each other which undermines any effort to build something lasting & sustainable together. This is marked by both parties putting the other person down, either directly or behind their backs to their friends or shared children to bolster their own sense of self-worth.

3. Rejection To Reclaim Personal Power. This is when we have become so polarised that we feel righteous and superior to our partner. To avoid taking responsibility for our own imbalance, we blame our opposite for sabotaging our happiness and then break away in order to reassert our sense of authority over our own life. It is women who are usually the first to leave. Not because they don’t love their partner but because they don’t know any other way to end the destructive dance of polarisation & conflict. This stage can be very frightening when we love our partner but feel we are betraying our own values by staying with them.

This stage is inevitable if you value truth & recognise something needs to change if you are to continue to grow. So rest assured, if you are currently in this place of needing your relationship dynamic to change & contemplating ending your partnership…you are ready to enter the new paradigm of Sacred Union.

4. So What’s the Solution?

When we embrace the path of ‘Sacred Union’ in partnership, instead of trading our partner in, only to repeat the same process with someone else, we strive to take responsibility for embodying our disowned selves. We do this by acknowledging our partner as our teacher, one who mirrors everything we need to see and accept in ourselves. Whilst they may act out our core wound in the opposite way to us, the issue they are illuminating is what we have not healed in ourselves. Similarly, their thoughts, words & behaviour toward us reflect our subconscious beliefs about ourselves & what we think we deserve.

The Key to Everlasting Love

For a relationship to grow beyond the honeymoon phase & survive the polarisation phase with grace & mutual respect it is imperative that a sacred practice be entered into which assists each partner to see & own their disowned selves. This focus shifts the ego’s need to blame ‘the other’ to one of personal responsibility so both parties remain humble, open & receptive. In other words, if there is not an agreement to regularly face the other in complete vulnerability & acknowledge your unconscious thoughts, words & actions they will be projected on to the other. These will accumulate over time, destroying trust & mutual respect, making intimacy on any level impossible.

This process needs to be holistic (honouring of the whole self or soul) rather than just a psychological negotiation as often occurs in couples counselling. A soulful approach encourages couples to ‘get out of their heads’. As viewing a situation from a rational perspective of right & wrong can further entrench polarisation. Instead, both need to be encouraged in a safe space to reconnect with their feelings which their righteous indignation has been trying to protect. For only then can they connect soul to soul with their partner.

When we view our relationship as a path to enlightenment we become gracious about the lessons learned through our human flaws & hurts. So instead of becoming increasingly bitter & cynical about love, marriage or an entire gender we come to appreciate how every experience in our relationship is highlighting what we need to do to resolve our own inner conflict & imbalance. It is this shift in our perspective that restores harmony as we genuinely feel gratitude towards our partner, warts & all! This is because we understand how both their strengths and their weaknesses serve us. This makes it possible for us to feel truly safe, loved for who we truly are, rather than pressured to be perfect or face rejection. The only essential ingredient is that both partners are willing to show up & do the practice to regularly own their shadow. Given the pay off is multi-orgasmic sex & the alternative is divorce or a cold war it seems an obvious choice!

If you found this article insightful, check out these related resources & event:

Creating Sacred Union Within Book

Rainbow Bridge Retreat Bali 2019

 

 

 

 

Committing to the Self: Becoming A Sovereign Being

Committing to the Self: Becoming A Sovereign Being

When I turned thirty I married myself in front of all my guests at my birthday party. Some, I suspect thought this a desperate act by a woman who, according to my patriarchal dictionary was, by definition a ‘spinster’ as an unwed woman over the age of thirty. Regardless of how unconventional it seemed at the time, I just felt an inner need to do it. In the three years leading up to this I had felt inspired to create & facilitate ‘Tantric Bridal Showers’ which  offered an alternative to the degrading pub crawl in a tulle  veil & hen badge. In these ‘Secret Women’s Business’ nights I would veil the bride “to” be & ask her to take three vows to herself.  These  included  agreeing  to  uphold  her  personal  values, educating her partner & children as to the gifts of the  feminine  & honoring the  needs  of  her  body, mind, emotions,  &  spirit  in  every  choice she  made.  This commitment to Self was witnessed by her inner circle of soul sisters in the Red Tent who would then support her in married life to uphold her vows. The idea behind this was that I questioned how we could truly take vows to commit  to another when we hadn’t first made that commitment to  ourselves  For  it  seemed  to me  a  precarious  act  to  make  vows of intent to another if we didn’t start from such a solid  commitment to self to back them up! Formally stating that we can count on ourself to not compromise our truth is an act of self “love that I see as a necessary condition of entering into conscious partnership. When we consider that people treat us according to the standards & boundaries we set as  acceptable, this simple but profound act of power ensured a  mutually  honoring  union  one could  commit  to  whole” heartedly without hesitation or fear of commitment.

The Art of Being Consciously Single

Growing up in a largely unconscious culture that ostracized people who were single as ‘wallflowers & losers’, it is ironic  that what makes someone a truly good partner is how much  time  they  have  invested in  knowing,  understanding  &  healing  themselves,  (which is  undoubtedly easier  without the  demands  of  a relationship or family responsibilities). That said, there are certain lessons that can only be learnt through relationship with others, so ultimately it’s about finding a balance between what we learn from both time with self & time with others.

When we consider the nature of our universe is holographic, meaning everything we create in our subjective experience of reality is a mirror of our conscious thoughts & unconscious expectations, it makes sense that to create a truly committed & loving partnership we must first make a deep commitment to love & honor ourselves & since love is a verb that means making loving choices & actions. How we feel about & treat ourselves will be mirrored back to us in those who we attract into our reality. In  addition,  the  greater the  capacity we develop to  truly love & honor ourselves through conscious choice, the greater our capacity  for  truly loving  & honoring  others  without fear  based agendas.

Committing to ‘The One’

Before we can commit to another with the best of intentions, we must also make a commitment to that which is greater than us alone (the ego) & for the highest good of all. Call it what you will “Spirit, Source, God, the Universe, the Force or whatever ‘Tupperware label’ sits comfortably with you.  Making this commitment to serve our collective, ‘Oneness’ marks the shift from ego to soul. This is the second birth, when one is ‘born again’ not into a specific doctrine but to the realization they are here to serve the greater or true self, the Soul which is part of the one ‘World Soul’. For unless we have  made  this decision  to  serve  the  Divine  plan  by  fulfilling our potential in service to the greater good, we will look to our partner as ‘The One’ & expect them to save us,  by  being  the  center  of our  world  &  fulfilling  the infinite  abyss within us which is not a fair expectation of a fellow  human  being  & one which only  creates such a clingy dependency that one’s mate soon feels cramped by  their overwhelming need.

When we make this commitment to embark on a path of spiritual growth, seeing every experience as a lesson, we make the transition from the child who blames others & feels sorry for themselves whilst unwittingly hurting others into a conscious adult.  I see this as one who examines their thoughts & actions so they become wise & humble through self “reflection & the seeking of a higher truth. It is important to add here, that it doesn’t matter what path you take so long as it deeply resonates with your own soul. Personally I’m not a fan of ‘off the shelf’ doctrines, groups or philosophies that claim to have the only exclusive path. As our truth is ultimately dictated by our own conscience if we take the time to listen & is reflected in all paths just as the Divine is. It doesn’t matter what practice you adopt, whether it’s a traditional sacred path like Tai Chi or just sitting by a lake or talking to the Higher Mind by reading the symbology of the clouds “all that really matters is that you make regular time to do it. I like to take inspiration from a wide range of spiritual paths, just like I enjoy cooking & eating foods from various cuisines. It is all Divine in essence so it’s not as if you’re a naughty child disobeying your parents by honoring  the Divine in a form that is different from the standard Judeo/Christian meat & three veg equivalent you perhaps were fed growing up. So if you feel like creating a meditating Buddha & lotus water feature in your garden to create a serene sanctuary where beauty can uplift your soul or if you were raised Hindu, there’s no reason you can’t sing your heart out to Aretha Franklin’s Gospel CD for a DIY Spiritual high!

A Solid Foundation for Soul Mate Union

Both of these marriages to Self & to Spirit are the essential building blocks for the new paradigm of Sacred Union, a conscious partnership that honors the holy trinity of self, other & the all. This creates a pyramid energetically, a temple of mutual growth so the union fosters an upward spiral of evolution, rather than a downward spiral of entropy which is  what occurs despite our best intentions when we only focus on  the other as a way of getting our needs met.

In  the Tarot, this level of codependent partnership is illustrated in ‘The Devil’ card which portrays a couple who are operating unconsciously from their lower selves, outwardly pursuing that which they desire rather than developing those qualities within themselves. This is indicated by them focusing only on each other, a level of awareness which keeps them shackled as they unconsciously expect their partner to fulfil them & then resent them when they don’t. This anchors a dynamic of dependence & need as the wounded child within each seeks to be unconsciously parented by the other.

In the card, ‘The Lovers’ the same couple are featured but the  woman is instead focusing on Spirit…this symbolizes that the feminine aspect  is  now fulfilling her soul’s potential rather than looking outside herself for someone to save her from her misery & sense of separation.

This dynamic occurs both internally & externally in partnerships. For example, externally it is often the woman or more feminine partner who will pursue a relationship with Source in order to explore her inner self & connection to the All. She will then try to inspire her more masculine partner to do the same. If they awaken their own inner feminine the partnership will grow to the next level by ascending the Tree of Knowledge. If they however, reject her feminine inspiration to grow! she will either suppress or compromise her inner truth & need for growth at a cost to herself or eventually leave the partnership to be in alignment with her core values. Internally this dynamic also occurs within us, with the feminine part of us seeking out greater inspiration & meaning. This increases our receptivity to intuitive guidance so our rational ego (our masculine self) may then externally act upon it. For women or feminine dominant males who lack confidence in the external world they may first need to awaken the courage to act upon their convictions before they can empower their inner masculine to take action.

So unless we reawaken our connection to the Divine & honor ourselves accordingly by creating harmony & balance of the sacred feminine & masculine through the embracing of teachings & practices which foster our upward spiral of wholeness & reconnection, our relationships will spiral down the toilet into Hell. (That being the mindset of fear based reality we have been living, based only on the thoughts & perceptions of the lower senses.) To do that, we need to replace the subconscious programming that has kept us focusing on our fears, perpetuating an experience of Hell. For when we focus on the Divine, an eternal source of love & see ourselves as reflections of the Divine by delighting in our archetypal Gods & Goddesses, we become filled & inspired with love

This fuels us to create situations that reflect this. Then it is possible for us to live Heaven on Earth in every aspect of our lives, as in this card we are the embodiment of love so we attract a reflection of this in every moment.

If you found this article insightful, check out these related resources & events:

Creating Sacred Union Within Book

Sacred Union Euro Tour 2019

Sacred Union New York Tour 2019

Rainbow Bridge Retreat Bali 2019