The Secret of Attraction: The Ultimate Turn On!

Sep 22, 2020

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We’re magnetised to people who see and do life differently to how we do. This is why we feel more alive when we travel to foreign lands and cultures and why the ‘in crowd’ is constantly in search of a new sound or the latest look on the understanding that innovation is what excites us.

So too in the landscape of love, if we meet someone with a fresh energy they ignite our enthusiasm. If we love their vibe we want to be near them. If they stimulate our mind with a new perspective we are curious to know them more deeply. Physically we are also often fascinated by those who are different from us, just as an exotic fruit holds an enticing allure.

This thirst for new experience is most pronounced in our youth when we’re more likely to sample lovers from varied backgrounds and with varying features, like a child exploring the tastes and textures in a bag of mixed sweets. This curiosity to explore different scenarios and cultural options is what the sex industry trades on.

However, if we just focus on sexual consumerism based on exploring external differences we become easily bored. For what really sparks our interest in someone as a prospective partner is their internal point of difference. Someone who presents us with something truly unique that heralds an opportunity to expand our horizons and grow beyond our mundane world. This uniqueness can only be discovered by taking the journey within to meet and know the treasures of one’s own soul. A person who has taken this road less travelled is indeed a treasure. Such a person represents a turning point in our fate, an archetypal call to adventure to fulfil our ultimate potential!

Why Diamonds Aren’t Forever

It can be hard to meet someone who is truly different, unique and special if we’re hanging out in places where everyone shares our values. For example, when surveying potential partners, if we value material wealth, we’ll seek out someone who is wealthy as a partner to fulfil what we perceive as our ultimate potential – financial security. If we value family, we’ll seek out someone with good genes who’s patient, kind and good with children to fulfil what we perceive as our ultimate potential, a family man / woman. If we most value fame, we’ll seek out someone who can further our career ambitions. If we prize status above all else we’ll seek out someone in a position of external power. However all of these personal ambitions do not represent our ultimate potential. Our ultimate potential is our growth as a soul. Focusing on becoming self-realised, knowing all aspects of ourselves in a spirit of self-acceptance is what holds the key to our personal fulfilment. If we seek wealth, status, fame or expect relationships to fulfil us we become needy, greedy and repel that which we seek to attract. Whereas when we make personal growth our highest priority we are more likely to attract those who truly see and value who we are as a soul. This is what forms the basis for a soul mate union…one where the needs of both souls are understood and honoured.

So when relationships that are based on personal ambitions fall apart, as they inevitably do, the greatest gift we can give to ourselves is to pursue our self-growth. If we don’t seek personal growth after a break-up, we repeat the same lesson with a new partner, often with a greater cost as a wake-up call to our soul.

Why Your Looks Aren’t Important

Whilst many feel the secret to being more attractive lays in improving their appearance, striving for physical perfection rather than inner growth attracts suitors seeking transient experiences to enjoy and compare. Whereas when we focus on transforming internally, by awakening the beauty of our soul through self-growth we become more attractive psychologically, energetically and emotionally to others…qualities which form a foundation for long-term connection and endurance.

The Ultimate Turn On

So despite what we’ve been told, what is most attractive to our inner self is who will make our world larger rather than smaller.  What we crave at our very core is growth as life itself  is the ultimate turn on! This is why the most successful ad campaign of all time for Coca Cola claims to ‘add life’. Life force is the ultimate aphrodisiac. It is the quality of our energy, our frequency that attracts or repels, regardless of our age, size or social standing.Those who choose to optimise their our health and wellbeing psychologically, emotionally, energetically and physically create youthful vitality from the inside out. Whereas those who obsess over their appearance, trying to appear young from the outside undermine their vibe with anxiety fed by insecurity.  For our attractiveness to others is not how we look but how we feel because when we feel good, others feel good around us so how a person feels when they’re in our company is the ultimate turn on!

Want strategies to better navigate the territory of human relationships?
Check this out…my latest offering for singles and couples that maps the dance of relating and provides a heap of conflict resolution tools. Click here

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